Filmhash List: 15 Film Teachers We Wish We Had In School

A list from the esoteric brains behind Filmhash. If you have a list topic, let us know, and we’ll…come up with something!

In honor of Bad Teacher coming out this weekend, we thought we’d run down the teachers in various films we wish had been ours in school, and what we would have learned from them! (in no particular order)

1. John Keating (Robin Williams), Dead Poet’s Society

What we learned: Real men write poetry.

(John Keating): Language was developed for one endeavor, and that is…

(Neil): To communicate?

(John Keating): No! To woo women!

2. Mr. Hand (Ray Walston), Fast Times at Ridgemont High

What we learned: Strict teachers still care about their students, and want them to succeed.

3. Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey), Mean Girls

What we learned: Ladies, let’s keep the claws retracted.

4. Albus Dumbledore (Richard Harris, Michael Gambon), Harry Potter series

What we learned: It is our choices that show us who we really are, far more than our abilities.

5. Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita), The Karate Kid

What we learned: That karate, and life requires balance. And that you must, “First learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule, Daniel-san, not mine.”

6. Dewey Finn (Jack Black), School of Rock

What we learned: Sometimes, you just have to rock. And that not all school learning needs to happen in ‘traditional’ classes.

7. Mr. Griffith (Thomas Haden Church), Easy A

What we learned: You can be a ‘cool’ teacher who talks to kids…without trying to ‘keep it real,” Phil Dunphy style. The world according to Mr Griffith:

“I don’t know what your generation’s fascination is with documenting your every thought… but I can assure you, they’re not all diamonds. ‘Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof.’ Who gives a rat’s ass?”

now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time...
8/9. Yoda/Obi-Wan (Frank Oz, Alec Guinness), Star Wars

What we learned: Fear, anger, and hate are the ingredients of galactic disaster. Also, if you’re going to do something, do it, or don’t do it. There’s no A for effort in this galaxy far far away.

10. Mr. Vernon (Paul Gleason), The Breakfast Club

What we learned: Don’t mess with the bull.

11. Det. John Kimble (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Kindergarten Cop

What we learned: Basic human anatomy and there is such a thing as TMI on Career Day:

(Mr. Kimble): We’re going to play a wonderful game called…”Who is my daddy and what does he do?”

(Rina, Tina): Our mom says our dad is a real sex machine.

(Joseph): My dad’s a gynecologist. He looks at vaginas all day long.

12. William Forrester (Sean Connery), Finding Forrester

What we learned: That talents are made to be shared with the world, not hidden away.

13. Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. (Harrison Ford), Raiders of the Lost Ark, Last Crusade

What we learned: Firsthand knowledge is a valuable thing. Oh, and ‘X’ never marks the spot.

14. Phil (Bradley Cooper), The Hangover

What we learned: Teachers are people too. Sometimes they are bad people, and sometimes they will steal your parents’ field trip money for a wild weekend in Vegas.

15. Mr. Glenn Holland (Richard Dreyfuss), Mr. Holland’s Opus

What we learned: Just because you may not be living your dream doesn’t mean you aren’t doing something extremely worthwhile.

Who are your favorite fictional teachers?